F.A.A.R.K
FREQUENTLY ASKED ASTEROID RELATED KNOWLEDGE.
Welcome to the most unreliable source of asteroid info on the internet... aka F.A.A.R.K! Here, we tackle the burning questions you’ve been asking (or, you know, the ones we made up for fun). Whether you're prepping for the end of the world or just wondering if we’re all doomed, we’ve got answers - though we can’t guarantee they’ll be useful.
1. Is the 2032 asteroid actually going to hit Earth?
Maybe. Maybe not. It’s currently a low but nonzero chance, meaning we don’t know yet - kind of like when your GPS says 'recalculating' at the worst possible moment.
2. What’s the current probability of impact?
As of now, the impact probability is fluctuating like your WiFi signal in a storm. It started near 0.1%, then crept past 2%, and could keep changing as astronomers refine their math (or flip a coin, who knows).
3. When will we know for sure?
Science is fast, but space is big. Expect clearer answers in the next few years - or, if we’re really lucky, in the final five minutes.
4. What happens if it does hit?
That depends on where it lands. If it hits the ocean, expect a really bad day for fish. If it hits a city, expect property values to plummet instantly. But honestly, we’re hoping for a cinematic near miss instead.
5. Can we stop it?
Technically, yes! NASA has tested asteroid deflection (DART mission, anyone?). But will we actually get our act together in time? That’s the real plot twist.
6. Should I be worried?
Only if you weren’t already stressed about a thousand other things. In the grand scheme of disasters, this one is just waiting its turn.
7. Is there a backup planet we can move to?
Sure, it’s called Mars, and it comes with no oxygen, extreme radiation, and a one-way ticket. Enjoy!
8. What are the experts doing about it?
They’re watching it very closely and updating their spreadsheets - which is basically the space equivalent of nervously refreshing your bank account before payday.
9. Can I bet on the asteroid hitting?
Absolutely! If you love existential gambling, some betting markets have odds on this. Just remember, if you win, nobody will be around to pay you.
10. Should I start hoarding supplies?
If it makes you feel better, sure. But maybe don’t spend your life savings on canned beans just yet - unless you really love beans.
11. Will governments tell us if it's a sure thing?
Let’s be real - probably not until it’s way too late to do anything but panic-buy toilet paper.
12. Will billionaires escape in space yachts?
Oh, definitely. If things get really dicey, expect a suspicious number of private rockets suddenly launching with very selective passenger lists.
13. What should I do if it’s confirmed to hit?
Well, you could:
- Panic (traditional approach)
- Party (YOLO edition)
- Ignore it (government-approved method)
- Get real friendly with your nearest bunker-owning neighbor
14. How big is this thing, anyway?
Large enough to ruin your day but not quite end civilization. Think Tunguska-level blast rather than Dinosaur Apocalypse 2.0.
15. Where can I get updates?
NASA, ESA, and various space nerds on the internet are tracking this rock’s every move. Or you can just check back here for more sarcastic doomsday commentary.
DISCLAIMER: DON’T TAKE US SERIOUSLY (NASA SURE DOESN’T)
Before you start panic-buying canned beans and building a bunker, let’s be clear: the commentary on this website is mostly for humor and entertainment purposes. We are not astrophysicists, government officials, or members of some secret asteroid-fighting task force (though that would be pretty cool). That being said, we definitely think buying a t-shirt or coffee mug will improve your chances of surviving the asteroid should it hit the earth in 2032.