A Totally Scientific (and Slightly Cynical) Look at Human Reactions

So, let’s say 2024 YR4 doesn’t just fly by and instead decides to RSVP "Yes" to Earth’s invitation. How would humanity react? Would we unite like in the movies, working together to ensure survival? Or would it be every person for themselves, with chaos and looting at the local supermarkets for the last roll of toilet paper? (Spoiler: It’s the latter.)

Phase 1: Denial ("Fake News!")

First, we’d have the inevitable social media arguments. "NASA is just fear-mongering!" "This is just another hoax, like the Mayan calendar thing!" Meanwhile, scientists would be doing their best "seriously, guys" press conferences, only to be met with memes and conspiracy theories about how the asteroid is a government plot to distract us from something else.

Phase 2: The Billionaire Escape Plan

While regular people start doomscrolling and binge-watching survival videos, billionaires will quietly be packing up their luxury bunkers in New Zealand. There will be "totally coincidental" space missions launching right around that time, carrying VIPs, a few lucky scientists, and an emotional support dog named Elon Jr.

Phase 3: "We Should Do Something!" (Way Too Late)

At some point, the world’s governments will finally agree to do something. Probably about 48 hours before impact. There will be last-minute discussions on whether we should "nuke it," "push it," or "hope really hard." Unfortunately, most of these plans require years of preparation, so we’ll settle for a lot of official-sounding statements and a heartfelt song from Bono.

Phase 4: The Supermarket Apocalypse

As impact becomes inevitable, people will suddenly realize they need supplies. Within hours, stores will be stripped of food, water, and, oddly enough, flat-screen TVs (because why not?). Meanwhile, a few optimistic preppers will smugly sip their bunker-ready protein shakes and say "I told you so."

Phase 5: Final Live-Streams and Influencer Content

Since nothing unites people like impending doom, social media will be flooded with hashtags like #AsteroidVibes and #OneLastSelfie. TikTokers will do "asteroid challenge" dances, while influencers will post heartfelt videos about cherishing the little things—right before making one final brand deal.

Phase 6: Impact – A Spectacularly Bad Day

Finally, the moment of truth. If it hits an ocean, we’ll get a massive splash. If it lands on land, expect a crater and a shockwave that could flatten everything for miles. Either way, it’ll be historic, and some guy in a bunker will be live-streaming it for all five of his followers.

The Aftermath: Who’s Left?

Assuming some people do survive (thanks to bunkers or sheer luck), they’ll emerge into a world without WiFi, Starbucks, or functioning governments. It’ll be a rough adjustment, but on the bright side, no more student loans!

The Real Lesson Here

Would humanity come together in the face of disaster? Maybe in small pockets, but history suggests it would be a lot more chaotic than Hollywood likes to imagine. The truth is, if an asteroid was going to hit, our best bet would be early action—not waiting until the last minute.

So, if you see scientists warning us about an asteroid in the future, maybe let’s listen to them before we reach the supermarket looting stage.